Adam Hibberd
(1)
My experience of the dating app bumble
Is making me exceedingly humble
They’re probably men
But at my age, I really can’t grumble.
(2)
Today I made chinese in a wok,
When my voices started to mock.
So I put them in too,
And when I went to the loo,
They spoke through my arse, what a shock!
(3)
Loeb’s proposal through mathematical graft
Is that Oumuamua might be an alien craft.
But the alternatives are
So more boring by far
And it may not be so stupendously daft.
(4)
‘Oumuamua’s cigar shape I have to admit
Is an enigma which simply doesn’t fit
Any one single idea
But you know what I fear?
It might just be a long alien sh*t.
(5)
Interstellar Objects are difficult to find,
So you have to get off your behind
If my advice is heeded
The LSST will be needed
And if you mention Avi Loeb, please be kind!
(6)
I’m off to a psychiatrist soon,
He’ll be whistling a different tune,
When he hears my condition,
He’ll resign his position
And retreat to a hippy commune.
(7)
When observing the sky at night,
It’s clearly not evenly bright,
Despite emitting the beams,
The light’s not here yet it seems,
Due to the limit on the speed-of-light.
( 8 )
We all need a good spell in prison,
It’s as energising as nuclear fission,
There are recreational drugs,
You get rogered by thugs,
And there’s no queue to see a physician.
(9)
Our piano was right out of tune to be candid,
So the piano tuner arrived as demanded.
There was cointreau in his cake,
And although he stayed awake,
I’m sure now the piano’s left-handed.
(10)
I suppose that I really can’t moan
That I went for a flight in a drone
No pilot was needed
They have been superseded
By a guy on the ground with a phone.