The Experience

Adam Hibberd

My experience of my new consultant was a mildly interesting one.

Firstly he phoned me twice before the 2pm appointment, on both occasions seeking to advance the appointment by half an hour, which was interesting in itself.

When I waited at reception waiting room for several minutes I was suspicious there would be a no-show, so I asked the receptionist what was happening.

Fairly shortly after he appeared and invited me through, though he had NO office to invite me into, instead it was a large meeting room.

He said there was a shortage of rooms and I made a comment that at least it wasn’t the toilet.

His computer wasn’t working therefore he had no notes, so I asked about the WIFI to which he responded that the signal was weak in this particular room.

Anyway after the formalities were over he started to ask about my mental health.

I said I had severe schizophrenia with auditory hallucinations, paranoia and delusions.

He asked me what I did for a living and I told him I was a space research scientist.

He started to make notes on his pad, and he got as far as the ‘research’ bit and then asked what the next word was.

I told him ‘scientist’ and he didn’t note that down, instead his eyes began to gloss over and I could see before me and quite obviously he was beginning to doubt the veracity of what I had just told him.

I tried to reassure him that these weren’t actually delusions, and that I was genuinely being paid by NASA albeit indirectly, but I don’t think that helped to be honest.

Later in the conversation he asked me whether I was on benefits, and I said no. But then clearly quite incredulous he repeated the question, which mildly amused me and confirmed to me he genuinely hadn’t believed that I worked for NASA.

I left with the impression that the whole thing had been an utter failure and that my own consultant completely disbelieved nearly everything I had told him.

Ahh well, you win some and you lose some.